I Can't Live Within You
by Jordan J. Smith
Summary: One swear word. Folken's POV after ep. 5, it helps if you've heard Within You by David Bowie, though not a must, and I SUCK at summaries! R&R PLZ!


(A/N : As a precautionary measure, words within these symbols ~ are lyrics, words within these symbols - are thoughts, wrds within tese symbols * are emphasized. Otherwise, the symbols are average.)  
  
Disclaimer : I DO NOT own "EscaFlowne", much as I'd like to, because then . . . . Well, things would be very different. I also DO NOT OWN "Within You", which is a song from "Labyrinth" by David Bowie.  
  
This is my first songfic (to speak of, anyway) so please no horrible flames, okies?  
  
~ How you've turned my world, you precious thing / You starve and near exhaust me. ~  
  
Folken stood, drumming his claws against the metal rail, looking out the front window of the *Vione*. He sighed deeply, partially closing his garnet eyes and thinking to himself.  
  
- Why does Van fight me so? All I want is to make the world a better place. People will die, but only if they put up a resistance. That's inevitable. Van should learn to accept that and join me before it's too late. For both of us.  
  
- All I've done for weeks is chase Van, and he has no idea how difficult is to keep Dilandau from killing him! Especially since Van scarred the narcissistic little pyro. -  
  
He cradled his eyes with his left hand, continuing to drum the claws on his right "hand".  
  
~ Everything I've done I've done for you / I move the starts for no one. ~  
  
- I'm trying to make the would better for *him* and all the good people like him. *Damn* it all! -  
  
He used his metallic claws to uproot, shred, and crumple the railing in front of him. He looked at the ball of compressed metal in his "hand", his face stony and emotionless. General Adelphos had come in just before the railing was destroyed, paled, and decided that his message could wait until the Strategos' reverie was over.  
  
- What happened to us? - He thought, still staring at the metal in metal. - Van and I used to be so close. When did that change? -  
  
"Come and play with me, Folken!" Van was shouting to his brother, standing just this side of the grove of trees outside the palace. "Please?"  
  
Folken smiled warmly at the small form of his baby brother, walking slowly toward him. "You know I'm supposed to start training with Balgus soon." Folken stopped, a few feet from Van, putting his hands on his hips and tilting his head to one side, causing his hair to fall across his eyes.  
  
"That means you still have time to play!" Van insisted, running up and pulling on Folken's right arm. He laughed as Folken lifted his arm, bringing Van along with it.  
  
"All right, all right, we'll play. Besides," he smiled warmly, looking at his little brother with a hidden laughter dancing in his eyes, "I can't sword fight very well without my right arm."  
  
The sound of giggled hooray's and laughter died in his ears, and he dropped the offensive sphere of metal on he floor. He started at his "arm", hating its constant presence reminding him of things he'd rather forget.  
  
~You've run so long you've run so far / Your eyes can be so cruel / just as I can be so cruel / though I do believe in you / Yes I do. ~  
  
-That's when we stopped being close. Once Goau died, I was supposed to complete the rite of Dragonslaying. I failed. I failed miserably, and this is my constant reminder. - He lifted the claw to watch the mechanisms move and hear them whir.  
  
- Why didn't that dragon just finish me off! Eat me right then, and save me the shame of living with such a horrendous failure!? - His eyes narrowed and his law clenched, then he forced himself to calm down. - You're alive because you were meant to be here to help Emperor Dornkirk complete his vision for a better world. Now, why doesn't Van understand all that Dornkirk is trying to do for Gaea and her peoples?  
  
-Van and I are not the same person. Perhaps that's for the best. Although, - a smile threatened to pull at his lips, - I have no choice but to respect his determination. I wish I could use that determination to my advantage. He always was the most stubborn little thing. -  
  
He sighed, a smile trying to light his darting eyes. He watched the world outside the window, refusing to look at the metal for a while.  
  
~Live without the sunlight / love without your heartbeat ~  
  
- I'm glad to know that this stifling aspect of Hell is only temporary. Someday, I will have a room made of stone with a window facing the rising sun. Soon. Hopefully very soon. The darkness of this place has already started to consume me, I can feel it. If this continues much longer, all aspects of myself will be gone. -  
  
Looking outside, seeing how far away the ground was gave him an idea. - How I wish I could fly circles around the *Vione*. Dilandau might listen to me if he knew my "demonic" heritage. - Again a smile tried to cross his face. -Maybe something will reunite Van and I. that would be nice . . . -  
  
~I can't live within you ~  
  
He spun, putting his right arm underneath his billowing cloak. He was mildly taken aback when he saw Adelphos. However, his face looked as blank as ever. "General Adelphos," he acknowledged. "Have you been waiting long?" He swept through the hallways, headed for his laboratory.  
  
"No, not too long sir, I've come on behalf of Emperor Dornkirk. He wishes to speak to you about the Dragon." Adelphos followed Folken, skipping slightly to keep up with the taller man.  
  
"Ah, the Dragon," Folken said with a small sigh. "Fine. Leave me so that I might speak with lord Dornkirk." He looked over his shoulder to see Adelphos nod and walk off. -Somehow, I don't think Van and I will ever be as close as we were back then. I wish things had been different between that Dragon and me. Now they're referring to my brother as "The Dragon". - He smirked slightly. -How ironic. - He sighed, moving into the holo-room where he spoke directly to Dornkirk.  
  
~I can't live within you.~ 


End file.
